Safety Tips

Big Spoon does not conduct criminal background screenings on its members. We confirm a phone number and screen photos automatically. That's it. Anyone who can commit identity theft can also fake a dating profile, so there's no substitute for your own caution. These tips are here because your safety is yours to protect, and we'd rather say that plainly.

Before you meet

• Talk first. Have a phone or video call before meeting. If they refuse or keep putting it off, that tells you something.
• Keep it in the app until you trust them. People who push to move to text, another app, or a "private" number fast are often running a script.
• Never send money. Not for a plane ticket, a medical bill, an investment, or an emergency. A person who asks you for money on a dating app is scamming you. No exceptions.
• Keep your details private. Last name, workplace, home address, daily routine, and anything financial can wait. Stop talking to anyone who pressures you for personal or financial information.
• Look them up. Search their photos and name. Inconsistent stories, photos that appear under other names, or a profile that seems too polished are warning signs.

When you meet

• Meet in public and stay in public. A café, a restaurant, a busy park in daylight.
• Tell someone. A friend should know who you're meeting, where, and when. Share your location with them and check in after.
• Get yourself there and back. Don't get picked up or driven home on a first date. Keep your car keys or a ride app handy.
• Stay in control. Know your limits with alcohol. Keep your drink with you and watch it being made. Don't accept drugs.
• Leave if you want to. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Ask staff for help if you need it.

Consent and health

• Consent can be given and taken back at any point. "No" and silence both mean stop.
• Talk about protection and testing before you're in the moment.

If something goes wrong

• In danger now: call 911.
• Sexual assault: RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline, 800-656-4673, is free and confidential, 24 hours a day.
• Report and block in the app. Use the ⋯ menu on any profile or conversation. Reports are private; the person isn't told. Blocking is mutual and permanent.
• Scams: report to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov, and tell us so we can remove the account.

Traveling and LGBTQ+ safety

Laws and attitudes vary by place. If you travel to meet someone, research local laws first and be careful about what you share.

Stay curious. Stay careful. That's the whole idea.